On Friday’s edition of his show, Trump ally Alex Jones managed to utter words about President Obama that would make most people question what the hell they are doing with their life if they just said the things he said — but Jones, of course, has never exactly been one to shy away from idiocy.
So what is it this time? Is President Obama a member of a race of shapeshifting lizards who secretly control our government? Is he planning to activate the super-secret mind and/or weather control ray at HAARP? Caught french kissing a mermaid?
Joined by Mike Cernovich — the guy who heavily pushed the “Pizzagate” conspiracy that paints Hillary Clinton as the head of a child prostitution ring that is run out of the basement of a pizza place in D.C. that doesn’t even have a basement — Jones said easily the dumbest thing you have heard about Obama to date — first that he’s hiding from nonexistent criminal charges and then the other dumb thing he said.
“This is out of The Hill, Obama reportedly spending a month in French Polynesia, where there is no criminal extradition to the United States and it’s funny they just brought that to me because the word is Trump tried to get them just to back off, go into absentia like Napoleon and just stop it. But they won’t stop,” Jones told Cernovich. “They know the deep state — it came out in the news, they said they were planning to overthrow Trump. So little birdies have told me and then Trump came out on air two days ago on Fox Business and said she’s guilty, Hillary, and she should be criminally gone after.”
Asked what the “little birdies” are telling him,Mr. Pizzagate (a man Donald Trump Jr. says is worthy of a Pulitzer) said that he has heard many of the same the same chirps, complaining that pushing unsubstantiated stories as absolute fact (like with Pizzagate) gets people like him and Jones called conspiracy theorists:
I’ve heard the same thing and that’s another story that I’m — there’s a lot of stories that I’m sitting on because some of the stuff that I know, and that you know too, we get called conspiracy theorists and lied about all the time, even though our news is important, so yeah there’s a lot of really funny business going on with Obama, but if we said it right now on air we would be so attacked and it wouldn’t even be worth it. But there are some real shady things going on with Obama right now. And where’s Michelle Obama?
Jones and Cernovich then agreed that Obama “openly funded Arab Spring” and “tried an Islamic Jihad takeover with [Angela] Merkel, opening the borders, bringing them all in.”
“And he’s completely abandoned his daughter who is making her rounds through the New York party scene,” Cernovich said with Jones adding “Shaking her ass on TV.”
“And the drugs and everything,” Cernovich said, continuing to attack Obama’s eldest daughter for dancing once and smoking something that may or may not have been a joint. “Remember when Jenna Bush went out and drank a little bit of beer, I think actually in Austin, Texas.”
In reality, the problem with what the Bush twins did in Austin was that they attempted to buy beer using a fake ID.
” It was a big story. Obama’s basically an absentee father, abandoned — a lot of sad things going on there,” Cernovich said. Jones, prompted by their listener-pleasing double-teaming of President Obama’s daughter, decided to say the dumbest thing on the show (or in the known universe):
“The word is those aren’t even his kids.”
This rumor has, of course, been floating around conservative circles for years — but Jones, who once claimed that Michelle Obama is a “tranny” who killed Joan Rivers because she was about to expose “his” secret — is where The Donald gets a lot of his information.
But there you have it: Obama is fleeing prosecution for (something) while abandoning his children that aren’t his.
Will we be seeing a Trump tweet demanding Malia and Sasha’s birth certificates like we saw with their father, or is this one too stupid for even the conspiracy theorist-in-chief to touch?
Watch it below:
Featured image via screengrab