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Trump Demands A Carriage As Golden As His Showers When He Visits The UK

Barack Obama showed respect for the Queen when he visited the United Kingdom by traveling in a motorcade to alleviate security costs and concerns, but Donald Trump has demanded to be carted around in a golden carriage pulled by some very unfortunate horses.

It’s no secret that Donald Trump loves gold: he lives in a golden tower, his elevators are golden, his carpeting is golden, his curtains are golden — even the showers he gets from paid Russian tinkle-ladies in a Moscow hotel room are golden according to a dossier compiled by a former British spy with a spotless reputation in the intelligence community. So when Trump found out that a golden carriage was an option, he was like “f*ck yeah!”

“The vehicle which carries the president of the United States is a spectacular vehicle. It is designed to withstand a massive attack like a low-level rocket grenade. If he’s in that vehicle he is incredibly well protected and on top of that it can travel at enormous speed. If he is in a golden coach being dragged up the Mall by a couple of horses, the risk factor is dramatically increased,” a source told The Times, adding that someone could easily eliminate Trump while he is inside the carriage if the used a “rocket propelled grenade or high-powered ammunition” or “armor-piercing rounds” because the bulletproof glass is flimsy.

Trump will be traveling in his golden carriage from the Royal Mews to Buckingham Palace, placing the Queen at risk because the entire world hates him and any attempt on his life risks harming her.

President* Trump clearlly lacks the class of our last President, eschewing decency and sense in favor of being a Disney princess for a day.


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